So there’s this guy.
Have you ever met someone and you just know? You don’t know exactly what you know or how you know, but you have this undeniable sense that whatever is happening between the two of you has a reason.
Ellie always talks to me about serendipity–it’s how her and I met after all. You know, it’s the idea of stumbling onto something truly wonderful while looking for something entirely unrelated. It happened with her.
And I can’t help but think it’s happened with him.
So, yes, there’s this guy and there’s just something about him.
I couldn’t tell you his favorite car or the cologne he wears. I couldn’t tell you where I come up on him when we’re standing side by side or if his height will require me to get on tip toes. I couldn’t tell you the size of his feet or if his hands are bigger than mine. I couldn’t tell you what it feels like to be walking somewhere and casually brush hands in an attempt to hold each other’s. I couldn’t tell you what it’s like to go on a date with him or even hang out.
That’s right, we’ve never hung out. At least not one on one and without a bar between us and me behind it mixing his favorite cocktails for brunch. Even still, that was eight months ago.
Are you chuckling and rolling your eyes at this crazy idea?
I would’ve too. Any other time. In fact, I have in other situations. But like I said, there’s just something about him.
Texting and talking to him is like talking to myself. Not in the sense that he’s unresponsive, rather he’s the most communicative guy I’ve ever met and he gives me a run for my money. The idea of waking up and going to bed with him as my first and last point of contact is one of the best feelings in the world–it just feels right. No matter how tired I am or sick and having had to take NyQuil which knocks me out almost instantly, I can stay up and talk to him for hours.
There are times when we talk about the universe and happenings of the world and then there are times when it’s something as small as my love of minions and my Princeliest Prince. There are times when we’re on the phone that he’s walking in his door and I can hear his dogs going crazy–typically I’d tell someone to just call me back, but the way he loves them and contorts his voice to talk to them is something I could listen to and smile to myself about almost endlessly.
He and I are very different and by that I mean our hobbies and interests vary greatly, but somehow instead of it coming between us it’s presented this awesome opportunity to learn about things that we’ve never considered or experienced before. Any other time it’d scare me, and I’d be lying if I said that it never did now, but for the most part there’s just this calm that makes everything make sense with him without fear or judgment or holding back.
Sometimes we say the exact same thing at the exact same time. We tend to know what the other is thinking and how they’re going to interpret words and situations. We dwell on things for the same reasons. We dominate the conversation. We overanalyze and over explain. We talk in circles. And in the middle of it all we realize we’re the same. And there’s nothing more wonderful or more frustrating than that–it’s something I’ve never experienced.
The way that this guy approaches me has given me a glimpse into the way that I’ve behaved in all my past relationships and life in general. He has fears and quirks that are so ingrained from life experiences and hurts that he can’t easily break them–so he questions how whatever this is, however crazy it may seem to the non-particpant, however much it may seem like it just “doesn’t add up”, is in fact reality. He’s aware of his tendency to get hung up on things, but where he wants to drop it and deal with his mind himself, I want to give all the reassurance in the world because I know how confusing and frustrating and potentially painful it can be to get wrapped up in thoughts of inadequacy or fear of being let down–or even worse, letting someone else down.
But, for now at least, that’s okay, because I know. And so I have this calm, patience about me–paired with nostalgia for something[someone] I’ve never had–while I wait and see where this goes.
So, yes, there’s this guy, and although I’ve never been with him in person since whatever is happening began, talking to him has made me understand something that I thought only existed in Hollywood and well-written books bound to make you cry– Elizabeth Gilbert’s words:
“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.
A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master…”
Any other time, I’d call myself crazy. And maybe I am. I’ve always been an advocate of fairy tales, but after more than a few trials and tribulations, my belief in them had began to sway.
I met him eight months ago and something sparked. Not in any magnificent way seeing as I was in a relationship in what seemed to be an unfortunate downward spiral at the time. But, like I have so many times since moving to this big beautiful city of my dreams, I’m beginning to realize what may have seemed so devastating and impossible to recover was really just a way of paving the road for something better because everything happens for a reason.
So eight months ago there was this guy and a group of his friends decked out in Kandi and raging hangovers from the night before. While most of them were incredibly loud and ordering bottles and cocktails that consumed the majority of my time to mix and making semi-ridiculous comments, he just sat there leaning way over the bar staring at me. And there was something in the way he looked at me every time from then on that has stuck with me. We didn’t exchange phone numbers or even talk on social media for that matter. Our only connection was his super suave move to scan the QR code on my Snapchat so that we were ‘friends’. Months, many memories with other people and moves later, here we are.
Some might say it’s just the idea of the Honeymoon Phase and talking to someone new, but for some reason, somehow, it seems like more. Somehow there’s a reason that he drunk snapped me back in June. There’s a reason we’ve talked every day since. And there’s a reason, despite talking in circles and all plans falling through for a trip that we’ve been looking so forward to so that we could actually see each other, that I stand by feeling like I know.
And with all that being said, from here, who knows. But it’s something I look forward to finding out.