Thoughts During The Hunt (For Apartments, That Is): A List

  1. New York City is the G R E A T E S T city on earth.
  2. Regardless, rent is obscene.
  3. I want to live in Manhattan.
  4. Why in the world is it necessary to require 3 types of ID, W2’s, Pay Stubs, Letters of Employment, etc?
  5. I don’t even remember my username and password for my pay-stub viewer. Awesome.
  6. They expect me to make 40X rent and have it in w r i t i n g. HA.
  7. Thank God I’m a bartender.
  8. Too bad it’s rather difficult to show in writing exactly how much I make as such.
  9. I don’t imagine they’ll take my wallet app to mean much.
  10. Then they’ll look at my bank statements and wonder how I’m depositing what I am.
  11. They’ll think I’m a drug dealer.
  12. Great.
  13. Okay, so maybe Brooklyn would be acceptable.
  14. I hear Bushwick and Bedford Stuyvesant are good. I shall look there.
  15. But apparently east of Nostrand is dangerous…which means half of my possibilities are out the window.
  16. Back to Manhattan.
  17. Finally, an apartment in the East Village that’s available and at a (somewhat) non-outrageous cost (that means $1400, in case you were wondering(and that’s for one bedroom out of multiple, not a one bedroom apartment all to myself)).
  18. *** “ToTo (Jeter(Don’t even get me started on how I’m not sure I will survive without ChedLoon), we’re not in Kansas anymore…”***
  19. **Scrolls down** Of course, the other roommates are all males and require that you submit a Facebook link in order to be considered. O F  C O U R S E.
  20. M E N–how very skin deep of them.
  21. I’m such a feminist.
  22. Why in the world did mom send me this link?
  23. Did she really think I’d EVER share a bathroom with three men?
  24. NO…just no.
  25. Only want female roommates.
  26. Preferably a Phoebe, Monica, Rachel sort of deal.
  27. Such a dreamer…
  28. If only Central Perk was real…
  29. Honestly, I wonder how much it would cost to live in their apartment. And they said they were living frugally. No, they were probably in a 800K+ or 5K+monthly rental.
  30. But hey, a girl can dream. And make that one come true, too (eventually).
  31. How long will eventually take?
  32. Time to be productive, lets look at Craigslist.
  33. Scroll
  34. ***Mom sends link***click***This person has exhibited that they don’t know the difference between “is” and “are” F O U R times, and she thinks I’m going to live with them? Me? The Grammar Police herself?
  35. C’mon Ma.
  36. Scroll
  37. Oh! There’s one for $1000! Terms of move-in, and I quote, “Must be willing to interact in close, personal relationship…”
  38. And on that note, it’s been nice knowin’ ya, Craigslist.
  39. Okay, Citi Habitats…
  40. Scroll
  41. Scroll
  42. 1200 studio? I’m in!
  43. Oh, there’s a kicker, S H A R E D bathroom with the ENTIRE floor of apartments.
  44. Scrolllllllllllllll
  45. StreetEasy?
  46. It has to be easier than this…
  47. This is the most stressful experience I have ever encountered.
  48. I have back-to-back-to-back-to-back appointments tomorrow.
  49. And I have to be up in five hours to catch my bus.
  50. New York, I  L O V E  Y O U. See you soon.

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